Working with Relationships
I found it a very intriguing read; hadn’t really thought about how closely relationship work is connected to attachments before.A real ‘eye opener’
Geoff Miles has written an interesting guide for counsellors working with couples in relationships, covering many different aspects of that rather specialised process. The author is clearly highly experienced in that work and the book builds on his experience as both a practitioner and trainer in relationship counselling. The book is honest and realistic about the process but there are also some profound insights about the nature of relationships which I found particularly engaging.
This book is exactly what any inspiring couple counsellor could ask for - clear and concise. I was fortunate to choose this organisation for training as well - excellent - probably one of the better organisations for couple counselling training.
PRICE: £12.49 (inc. P&P)
BACP Private Practice Journal
Working with relationships: can’t live without them!
Honeybee Books 2016; £9.99
After many years’ experience working with couples, from early work as a divorce court welfare officer, Geoff Miles became inspired to start a couples counsellor training facility, See For Miles, with his business partner Helen Payne-Kumar, in the Wiltshire town of Marlborough.
During his long years of work in this field, he noticed a gap in couple work training and realised the need to illustrate the difference between working with couples and working one to one. This book is an eclectic, comprehensive guide and reference book for experienced one-to-one therapists who want to move into the world of complicated partnership issues.
When I started out in this field 30 years ago, I would have been greatly helped by this well researched and helpful guide, alongside my four-year training in couple work. Some of the known subject headings that crop up during work with a couple are covered, and the explanations in each chapter are succinct and in précis form. An index would be helpful both at the front and at the back.
The quotes to aid the subjects under discussion are well chosen and resonate with the particular issue in the chapter. Erik Erikson’s idea in the Eight Stages of Man theory is helpful in terms of the first 18 months in a life where trust versus mistrust becomes a battle, the lack of resolution often being the presenting problem in the couple counselling consulting room. Miles gives useful and well-chosen quotes from Mandela, Yalom, Donne, Gibran, Bahr, Shakespeare and others.
Topics that follow the initial session are included under helpful headings, such as ‘Forming the contract’. A chapter on the family refers to transactional analysis as a useful construct. Sex, loss, anger, conflict, addiction, diversity, and depression are some of the areas covered, with bullet point headings synonymous with the chapter. The chapter ‘How Disorders Can Affect Relationships’ is sensitively described, most particularly, the subheadings on the autism spectrum and Asperger’s. These last two are talked about in a way that would not have been possible 30 years ago. It was on my second reading, when I was searching for subject headings, that I was frustrated by no index.
Miles obviously spent time and research on this book. It was disappointing that the final work presented by the publishers lets him down with spelling and other copy editing errors.
Clare Ireland is a psychodynamic couple counsellor and one-to-one therapist in private practice. Ref: Spring 2017, BACP Private Practice Journal, page 33.